Loveless the Lover

I don't expect most women to get what goes on in my head.

Without falling asleep like I'm some fatherly lullaby.

At times yeah I can feel lonely.

But,

I guess there's a joy in being able to be there for someone.

But what when you no longer ask of nothing in return?

You expect nothing.

There's a freedom in that sincerity. One could question if its because I'm jaded or lonely.

Perhaps there's an apathy to that loving sincerity.

Like sitting on a floating island in the depths of the infinite space.

If we meet, I'll hold you until morning. Maybe we'll meet again someday, if not...

That's cool too.

-Arc Christelle

Beat Warrior Kiba - The Solilquy of the Dreamer

Kiba looked to Yalea, only to be discovered by Sonny. The love Yalea witheld from Kiba was still there inside of her, as she watched him from the windows of mirrors unseen. She was losing the only one she had left.

She would continue to watch his journey as he left everything behind, wondering would he ever come home, except....

There was no longer a home to come to.


He never knew she was there the whole time, but she never knew, the entire time though he would never let it show, she was always in his thoughts. Something was wrong with everything that was happening, and something fought to keep them separated.

Her choices to move forward in her responsibilities towards her personal feelings may have brought heartache, but even a person as brash as he could understand both the importance of her decision, as well as the overwhelming pressure that made her feel alone due to it. His personal decisions to constantly challenge the establishment made it no better. His promise to become the knight she needed was quickly called into question because of it.

But in his final attempt to be at her side....

Fate? That would be too convenient.

Now when Yalea dreams, the girl in her dreams is no longer alone standing beside her, is an old friend carrying the Mark of the Cresent Moon.

But when Sonny dreams... she dreams of a girl who has lost everything, only accompanied by "The One Bearing the Mark of Gemini."

Return to The Infinite Space [Recovery and the Path to Freedom]

Once again I return here... In thought, every once in a while I ask myself, "How did I venture onto this path in the first place?" As much as I don't like to admit, there are times when I become so invested in living life and doing as I please that I forget how did I become this way in the first place. Never wanting to explain myself due to my hatred of redundancy and repetition, I find myself here again.

The Infinite Space. 

The very place I retreated to in my mind in order to find my own path. I return here, seeing everything the traces I left behind as I carved my own path. A question from a friend echoes in my head, "Did the persona overtake the creator? Is there any Calvin left or is there only Arc Christelle?" In all honesty, not even I knew the answer to this.

"How did I get here?" 

As I raided my past ramblings I found that what I left was simply what I needed the most. It was a guide to myself. Every choice forgotten re-emerged in my head. Thoughts that I grew tired of explaining returned, as well as my answers. Everything about myself and my path would make sense once again. The true purpose of the Infinite Space was finally making sense to me. In a simple conversation, you would never know everything there is to my train of thought, unless you were to enter the Infinite Space yourself, or embrace who I am.

Note that I said "Embrace" not "Tolerate".

Everything there is to know will be here.

I can see the limitless potential within us all. Therefore there's no need to conform, but only to understand. Because of this I will continue on challenging the ideas and concepts established by past generations and society itself, in order to carve my own place in the world, while moving everything in it. My path towards the Madness of The Infinite Space will bring the true freedom I seek. Throughout the Chaos is the Change, and the need for Order. But Order is defined by the one who controls influence.

This is the path I will follow to gain my freedom. I will challenge everything you believe, and succeed. This is who I am, this is Calvin Fordham.

This is Arc Christelle. 

One with the Universe.

One with Everything.

Love the world.

Love the Universe.

Love the Infinite Space.

Love yourself. 

Spread Love. 

-Arc Christelle

Hopefully you also were able to find the answers you seek on this journey as well.

Saturday

You ever spend an entire day in your room in thought?

I've noticed that there's times when people may find me silent to myself, or pacing slowly. Some people find it weird to even horrifying at times (because I'm usually out and charismatic). When I'm like this I'm usually in deep in thought, having a conversation with myself. Observing the scene or creating a scenario in my mind. The creative process goes into full throttle.

From there I think about my experiences, and making new ones. I think about life lessons, interesting stories, romance, money, and other things. Stuff I want to make, and share. Just lost in thought. Sometimes it feels like a place outside the universe, in the vast infinite reaches of space. Sometimes I keep myself company, sometimes that very company makes feel alone. It's interesting. Kinda like the world itself.

There's a vast infinity both in our minds, and outside of them.

Peanut Butter

I've been thinking about the past few days, and I noticed that sometimes I have these random bursts of creative energy that I feel the need to put to use. The problem with this is, that at times, that creative energy feels like a lot of everything, and a lot of nothing at the same time. I find such situations to be extremely vexing to the point that I choose to do nothing.

• I want to draw something.
• I want to write something.
• I want to script something.
• I want to work on my game.
• I want to make sprites.
• I want to work on this animation.
• I want to make a video.
• I want to make music. 
• I want to do some fucking math. (I don't even know how this became a habit.) 
• I want to play some video games.
• I want to listen to music.
• I want to hang out with my friends.
• I want to say sweet things to this girl I like and make her smile.
• Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex.

Productivity vs Procrastination vs Sex

All of this is running through my mind simultaneously and it drives me nuts.
Maybe it's the curse of anyone who wants to be an Ace of Trades. Jack Syndrome, I'm not good at just one thing, so it's hard for me to focus on them, despite my talent and ability. Mix that with college and damn I'm a bit everywhere, although I got it covered, it's nice to acknowledge it. Therefore I can counter it. It's easier for people who want to focus in one central area.

For me it's more of a challenge, because I don't focus all of my talent in one area. Art can be seen as my strong trait, but I don't focus solely on it. Same with writing and anything else.

Sometimes I spread myself too thin.

Pet Peeves

Man it's 2014, and while I've been living each day to smile and be happy, these days doesn't come easily without strife and struggle. Because if you don't know, now you know, but in order to keep me from losing my damn mind with some of the bullshit you people pull, let's set some boundaries, because I've been pretty easy with letting you all get away with those things that pisses me off, mostly because you don't know any better. Maybe that's my fault or something. Anyway, there's not much that gets me pissed but I feel that I have to emphasize on some of the shit that does, just to stop the habitual line steppers (which I was also alright with enabling.)

1. Don't State The Obvious - This has been the one of the two GREATEST offenses I've been dealing with since I've been on FB. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna force your face into the shit you said to out you like the basic motherfucker you are (not all the time at least). Like I don't care what the fuckin topic is yo, if you state some shit that's already been said a MILLION times by every other motherfucker on the internet, STOP. Reconsider. Or at least acknowledge you're beating the dead horse. I don't care if it's Social Justice, Gaming, Women, Business, Entrepreneurship, what the fuck ever. And PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD don't try to give me advice with shit I already know man. Be helpful, don't just run your mouth. If you ain't got no new information to contribute or some unique point of view, I suggest you to shut the fuck up man. Seriousness. Which brings me to my next point.

2. Don't Post Old News - Matter in fact, DON'T POST ON MY WALL AT ALL. Like unless you're posting la femmes or some actual shit that isn't a played out meme (because motherfucker let's be honest, 9/10 I've already saw the shit you saw, before you saw it. If I didn't share it, I thought it was wack!) The only thing you're allowed to post on my wall are messages, original jokes, and bitches BAD BITCHES at that. AND IT BETTER NOT BE NO FEMMES I'VE ALREADY SHARED YO!

3. Don't talk to me about basic shit, and expect me to put my heart in the discussion or some shit like that- To simplify "Basic Shit" I guess the best way I can put it is "Shit the internet deems important/relevant." It really goes back to 1-2 to be honest. These are usually conversations with little to no benefit, usually petty shit, and discussing petty people or things, which I personally feel like I'm above. Easy subjects.

Examples
 
"I got an Xbox One and a PS4."

Me: "Nigga, did I ask you that?"

"Yo Arc, so and so celebrity made a racist comment!" 

Me: "So what?! Dafuq that gotta do with me?! Fuck that nigga! Let him/her do whatever he/she wants." 

"Yo Arc, what do you think of the friendzone?" 

Me: "I don't friend girls I'm trying to get with. So I wouldn't know. I'm not trying to be a 'friend' to someone I want to fuck."
[Now before #TeamObvious attempts to break down, my statement into some basic nigga shit and outcries of "Well you gotta be friends or some sugar water shit like that.". STOP, Think about what I'm saying.

"I don't invest friendship with someone I want to be more than friends with."  That shit is pointless, and you're really just gonna end up unsatisfied with shit until you snap or some other shit then crying like some heartbroken sap ass nigga talking about, "Nice guys finish last."

They don't, just know when to withdraw when they've made it clear they don't want the same shit as you. It is what it is. Stop being a dick in a dusty ass emergency glass. ]

I've ranted on more about this shit than I should, but it really was something people was asking me at one point like I was gonna sympathize with that wack shit. Not to mention some of you are really bad at reading between the lines.

4. If I put you on some dope shit or posted it, the worst thing you can do is come back like a year later asking me have I heard it or some shit.  Once again this is one of those cases of offending #2 on the list. Doing this would probably prevent me from sharing anything with you ever again, and possibly spoiling whatever it is out of spite because you are so goddamn late.



5. Attempting to prove intelligence through the criticism of the stupidity of others. I get it internet. You're smart. Good for you. Congratulations. You're so unique, so amazing, so talented, that all you got to do is bask in discussion of Miley Bieber. Coo. Or probably just repeat and pass on other statements of stupidity from either stupid people or trolls, and take them seriously to fullest extent. I mean there's other shit you can talk about, but it's not as important (easy) as talking about how some dumbasses shouldn't be able reproduce.

You know how you kill stupidity? You ignore it. SO PLEASE STOP CIRCLE JERKING.

6. Taking everything so goddamn serious.  Life is short. Don't spend it overthinking. Because most things in life require little to no thought.

7. Asking me to collab with you on a project, and basically try to do the easy shit like writing a story. First and foremost 9/10 I'm a better writer than you, the fuck would I even agree to that for? You got other skills? Can you program? can you draw sprites? Can you animate? Can you write down game designs?

Talent recognize talent.

8. Expecting me to agree with you in order to understand. This is the most bitch made form of thinking ever. It doesn't take much to understand a person, just to see things from their point of view, but just because I understand with where you coming from that shit does not mean I will agree with your choices.

9. Confusing Empathy with Sympathy. I don't know when this outbreak of sweet ass dudes happened, speaking about a person lacking empathy because they didn't sympathize with their views. But this is also pretty bitch made. Empathy is when you understand a person's views due to experience, sympathy is when you feel bad for the person regardless of experience. You don't have to sympathize to empathize. In other words, if I think your view is bitch made, you'll get no sympathy from me.

10. Talking to me about CAPCOM. That's like asking me about an ex-girlfriend or some shit man. Just let it go.

11. Overly self righteous forum debaters. You know the type, trying to argue with a fraud sense of maturity and intelligence despite the fact their argument doesn't hold a damn candle. Probably most likely to offend most in this list. More angst than a 13 year old who just finished arguing with his parents and bumping Linkin Park. Got some silly view of the world about how everything should be fair and balanced with out acknowledging that way of thinking is borderline entitlement. Time to grow the fuck up homie.


And that's it.

The Kawaii Ass Adventures of Maku-chan and Fairy Boy!

So this week, been playing Zelda 3& Ages and today, I finally finished it, now as entered the second part. I noticed this big pile of moe ass tree.

The Ages Maku Tree, as I like to call her..... Maku-chan.

Adorable am I rite?

~uguu......