"The funny thing about Nightmares is that they are created by us from our fears, thus it serves us by presenting and unwanted fate or future for one later in life. It scares us because it is an unknown destiny, yet feels so terrifyingly real that we believe it's possible. A True Nightmare, however I find is kinda poetic and entertaining, to watch a man try to escape an undesired fate only to end up becoming what he feared in the first place. That is a True Nightmare."
-Arc Christelle
When I was a kid I started watching shows with puppets and superheroes.
The puppets were friendly, they taught me not only how to count and how to read, but they also taught me lessons in life. I idolized superheroes, because they dedicated their life to fighting crime, unlawfulness and any "evil" doings that were present. When I was kid, I believed in "Heroes" and "Justice" and when comes a great adversity, a man with a good heart will always prevail. Good and evil, the fight goes on to save the world. Always fight for justice, never surrender to evil. Always stand up for what you believe in.
I was raised to believe in the existence of God Almighty, and his son, Jesus Christ, and without question I followed those beliefs, only to fear what would happen to me if I didn't. After all, no one wants to go to Hell, especially a young boy. God will guide me throughout life to become a great young man. In a world where warriors were no longer existent, humanity used the power of "religion" to bring discipline, value, and morals to their homes. The ideas of philosophies, and other past disciplines became irrelevant, especially in a country where Christian belief was upheld. Despite the methods of how it was brought to people of African American Heritage or any other ethnicity. This was seen as the only way, and I as well walked with my eyes closed, only carrying faith and the will to believe.
I believed in love, and that we all as a people throughout best and worst must love each other in order to make it in this world together. I believed in falling in love and romance, I wanted to meet a wonderful young lady one day, and I'll treat her like a queen, I'll give her everything and my feelings shall never change, I shall always remain faithful and put her above the most.
I believed in success. One day we'll all accomplish our dreams and our future will be bright as the sun. The world could not hold us back from anything.
As time passed, I aged and started to experience life with other beings in this life I share this world with.....
The funny thing about the villainous lifestyle was that it was a side that exists in all of us. The primal need for power and control, and in time that need has even taken control of me. I am not a villain, but I have thought about it. When asked about my path and what I desired, I replied, "I only seek power, I do not seek glory or other useless things, I just want the power to live my life as I please."
The villain inside me looks at the world, just like every other villain before me. I also shared dislike of villains because they were simply shown as the enemy to the world. They were seen as a threat because of the way they approached things. I didn't understand what was their purpose and why they chose these actions. But now I can understand. It makes me wonder, were all villains good people once and what did it take for them to turn against the world. To go out to control it.
Some people may say selfishness, which can be true, but there is only so much selfishness a real villain can display. The best villains do not seek to control others, but to control the situation and the world around them. They tread carefully, yet confidently. They are no mere "thug" or "goon" they are Men of Power.
I believed in Good and Justice and met defeat at the hands of selfish men.
It hurts.
I believed in love and ended up heartbroken.
It hurts.
I believed in success and met failure.
It hurts.
I believed in God, but when I opened my eyes to see what was before me, I realized that I've been walking through the woods staring at the sky. I realized that "God" was more than just an image, and whether his existence was definite was beyond my knowledge, and that I may never know until death, and still may not know after that. There was more than one answer to find divinity and enlightenment, some chose to leave their problems to a higher power. Eventually I found that to be lazy and that brought no improvement to who I really was, just a bunch of excuses and blame on everything that wasn't there to escape the shames of my own decision. I will not become like them. I will not use "God" as an escape from the world, I will no longer blindly follow a flawed path filled with contradicting sheep! I will become a wolf. I will find my own! I will do good because I choose to, every sin, everything I do, I will acknowledge my own free will and live by it, accepting the choices I make no matter what, and if I am to be shamed, So be it. If I must fall to hell for the decisions I have made during this lifetime. I will accept it. This is my choice, my will. I may no longer follow religion, but that never meant that I never understood God. I was taught he was understanding, loving, and forgiving. He knows where my heart is. How I feel. Why I made these decisions. He knows if I'm truly good or not, and I don't need to follow anyone to know that.
The very second I walked out of the line I felt it. The glaring eyes of the sheep. Everyone I once saw as friends and comrades no longer saw me as friend, or family. To them I was worse than any sinner, any murderer, rapist, or fornicator. They saw me as defective. Crazy. The love I had for them remained the same, yet the love they had for me quickly dispersed. It hurt. But it only showed me the true ways of those I call friends, and family.
I felt alone.
It hurts.
I believed in Humanity, the biggest of all disappointments, upsets. Mankind bound to their desires, ambitions and uttermost useless cause. As these self-righteous bastards force their beliefs upon one other, relentlessly shamelessly. And all those who didn't follow in the same line as every other fucking sheep and had the nerve to develop individual thought were cut down like blades of grass. How dare you judge me for my choices, and you live your life of deception lies, distrust, constant shame, no I am not perfect, no I am not holier than thou, but I know I am better than what bullshit........... Humans..... this body so unnecessary.
It's a plague.
Mankind.....has fallen in my eyes.
I must save mankind.... from themselves. Even if I have to become the enemy.
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